4 Things to Look for When Choosing a Coach or Mentor

In this article you learn 4 Things to Look for When Choosing a Mentor or coach. It's important to be very selective who you learn form. Knowing what to look for will help you save lots of time and money.

1. Is she qualified?

When you hear “qualifications” you think of credentials, right? That’s usually what comes to mind. Credentials show that a person dedicated their time to the pursuance, though mentorship or life coaching doesn’t require one to have credentials beyond a certificate program, it’s always good to know the person took time to apply themselves to something they enjoy doing. Most times the certificate programs are between 2 to 12 weeks long. It can be considered a “red flag” if a person wouldn’t attempt to apply themselves to being further edified in the field. That could show lack of dedication and inconsistency--like quitting things before finishing them. It’s not a good sign when seeking out a mentor or coach. Another important part of qualification is “experience”. When you connect with a mentor/coach that has lots of life experience you feel less judged. Their purpose is to always be mindful of making their mentee/client feel guilty for past mistakes. They’re confident enough to share their mishaps to better connect with the people they serve. Professionals with much experience make better mentors/coaches. If she has been in business for some time, you can expect more organization and direction to your meetings. Doing your research and finding out their story is highly recommended. Reading reviews from other clients is also very helpful. One who has enough wisdom to determine when your requests have extended their experience and ability. They have the confidence to admit it and is resourceful enough to refer you to someone who can help. They see your needs as a priority even if that means losing you as a client can be the possible outcome. That is commendable.

2. Does her beliefs align with yours?

Having a mentor/coach that shares similar beliefs is essential. Her advice and counsel will be ordered in a way that is conducive to your lifestyle and belief system. You want your interactions with her to be encouraging, not compromising. For example, you may be faced with infidelity issues, and she may tell you to leave your husband. Allowing her personal feelings to interfere with her ability to serve you. Advice without scriptural knowledge and understanding but her own feelings. Having similar beliefs doesn’t mean you will agree on everything, but the foundation should be as similar as possible. You don’t want a mentor/coach projecting her fears and trust issues onto you. You don’t want to feel like she is forcing her views on you. If her advice is backed up with valid points you know she is speaking from a more logical standpoint and can be taken into consideration. If you both are on the same page, you have a greater chance of having a great mentee/mentor relationship in the long run. Having a mentor/coach who is a woman is also ideal. Only a woman can understand womanly things.

3. Does she practice what she teaches?

Representation matters! Having a mentor/coach who is a walking, talking, and living representation of what you aspire to be--in one area or another is very ideal. There should never be a case where you are being taught, led, or coached by someone who doesn’t put into practice the things they teach. For an example: teaching woman to “love” themselves, but she doesn’t embrace her natural beauty. She teaches women to be submissive wives, but she’s not married. If she is married, she never shares her significant other and never shares her personal experiences as a wife or mother. Some people are walking contradictions. Observe them. Make sure their words and actions align. This will make people be more mindful of what they do and speak.

With social media being so prominent, everyone has access to a camera. Everyone has an opinion and insight to share. It’s easier to put into words what makes a woman feminine and what keeps a peaceful home. It takes a lot more effort to show it and even more to maintain it. When I say Show it, I don’t mean flaunt, brag or overcompensate. Sharing testimonials helps your mentees/clients get to know more about you. Within the boundaries of your own discretion of course--but your clients should never wonder. As a mentor or coach, you become the example. The model. It comes with sacrifice of privacy, on some level. Anyone not willing to share may not be honest about it. I often get asked why I don’t speak in my videos. The world isn’t lacking speakers. It lacks examples. Doers. I don’t want to be another social media counselor. I want to be respected as a professional and show women how to be discrete with all that you do. My classes are all private. My videos all overlapped with a lovely soft melody. It’s important for women to see the example of how one should carry herself. There are plenty that can put it into words. I'd rather give the visuals. I speak often about my challenges of not being a great cook in the beginning of my marriage and how I had to be humble enough for my husband to teach me. I share my challenges of having a special needs son and homeschooling our children. My life isn’t perfect, but I know that in order to attract and connect with the people I’m meant to serve, I must be relatable. Honest and authentic. Holding people accountable is key. We can’t be so moved by smooth words that we can’t see when we’re being manipulated and sold a dream. Some people are good speakers. Doesn’t mean they live the life they portray to others. You want to learn from authentic people. Who you learn from is very personal. When it comes to who you allow to pour into you—be very selective. We easily become the company we keep.

4. Is she efficient? Being women, wives, mothers, women in ministry and an entrepreneur, it can be a lot to carry. Being good at managing and organization is key. A woman who masters organization flows through her day with minimal confusion because her life is managed well. How can she teach a woman to be better at managing her life-- if she, as a mentor, cannot manage her own? The chaos starts to pour over into her professional life, and it immediately starts to show. She starts forgetting appointments, showing up late or unprepared. She begins to get clients confused with one another or worse -- she stops showing up. Pay attention to these things. We know things happens and life starts “Life-in”. Pay close attention. People are their patterns and habits. How often does it happen? You can usually tell if a person is about their business or is somewhat "scattered". You want someone who can afford to make you a priority. One who has great managerial skills makes a great mentor/coach. With much timeliness and gracefulness. She works with what she has and she’s great at what she does.

Everyone may have specific requirements when seeking out a mentor or coach. Hopefully this list gives more clarity on the expectations one should have when making a sound decision.

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